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One year ago I had a kitchen accident, an accident that took me down a wild path of recovery and self-discovery. The outcome at a glance was very fortunate, but there is no denying that it has redefined me in many ways. Oddly enough two years ago, around this exact time, we had a fire in our home, during the last few weeks of a remodel. Aside from realizing how very fortunate we were, the personal life lessons were rampant. This year, while anticipating calm waters in the ocean of life, I was confronted with the potential loss of someone I adore. Pragmatically I know that this running list of events is just life – and yet I cannot ignore the fact that every year, for the past three years, life has thrown me the equivalent of a personal earthquake around mid-May. I’d like to boast that I am resilient and able to take it all in with ease but the fact of the matter is I feel anxious, and ill at ease. I am a planner, and life clearly has its own agenda. I am just a passenger and how I choose to process this information is really all that I can control and ultimately what can define me.

So here I sit, and think, and write. I try to reach back in my mind to when my worries were miniscule and my heart wasn’t riddled with holes. I recall someone at work telling me once, “Big family equals big losses.” And he was spot on. But in light of nearly any crisis I can prevail, it is one of my suits of armor. It is later that I crumble, when left alone, that thoughts invade my mind despite my masterful distraction tactics. But the Sicilian in me flares up and rears its powerful head, and I soldier onwards. This post is about the hair of the dog- facing your demons and embracing them. So here’s to you California avocado. You can’t scare me- I am Spartacus. >name that movie<

While traditional guacamole is absolutely delicious, this version is creamier. The texture is smooth, with a kick of spice and on the palate it tastes like a grown up lighter version of its predecessor. This pear-shaped berry (yes, that’s right!) when mashed and seasoned will make your next party appetizer plate a standout.

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Creamy Grown-Up Guacamole

Ingredients

2 ripe avocados, peeled and pit removed and set aside

½ cup sour cream

3 TBS apple cider vinegar

2 TBS olive oil

2 TBS chopped fronds, plus more for serving

2 TBS fresh cilantro, plus leaves for serving

2 tsps siracha

3 TBS grapefruit juice, fresh squeezed

salt and pepper to taste

tortilla chips for serving

Directions

In food processor or blender, combine avocado, sour cream, vinegar, olive oil cilantro, and fennel. Process until mixture is smooth, light and thick. Add in siracha, grapefruit juice, salt and pepper and blend until well combined.

If not using immediately, transfer to an airtight container and place avocado pit inside mixture to help keep the guacamole from browning while chilling it. When ready to serve, remove the pit and transfer mixture to a small bowl and top with cilantro leaves and more fennel fronds. Serve with chips!

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